Candy Time
by Avenging Neko
Summary: Seras Victoria, innocent little Draculina, or serial gummibear murderess? You decide! (Rated for language.)
1. Gummi Torture

_**Candy Time**_

**_Ketti:_ **This really short silly snippet is silly. And will probably have more added to it just because I can. Especially to act out the abridged series with gummibears.

_(X_X) (._.) (*_*) (._.) (X_X)_

Seras looked about guiltily as she stole down the hallway, a plastic bag gripped carefully in her gloved hand, ready to conceal it should any eye pass over her furtive movements. So far so good, she just had to make it down the lower levels without encountering her Master and she'd be in the clear. Vibrant blue eyes glowed with a childish delight as she laughed silently at herself, skipping down the steps on near-silent feet and keeping an eye out for any out of place shadows. Unfortunately she did not think to look to her own shadow for the pair of crimson eyes stalking her every step, looking curious and amused at the antics of the fledgling.

If it wouldn't draw his attention immediately, the blonde would likely have been humming the Mission Impossible theme song as she slunk down the hallways after peeking around the corners, making it to her room in "record time" as she told herself, and shutting the door quietly behind her. She locked it for good measure, because everyone knew that this delicate procedure required silence and concentration.

Taking advantage of the untouched plate and bowl on her table, she set the bowl aside and poured a handful of brightly colored shapes onto the plate. Humming almost silently to herself, the Draculina sorted through the oddities and scooped others to the side with the bag in the bowl until she had a small pile that suspiciously resembled a rainbow. Chuckling, her whole demeanor changed in a blink as she picked up a sky blue one, bringing it close to her face to reveal it as a gummibear. Her lips parted in a manic grin resembling her Master a little too closely as she inspected the innocent sugary snack for flaws, finding none, she placed it next to a red bear, and affected a trembling voice, "But why, tell me, why fight to save these pathetic humans?" The red bear scooted up behind the blue one, somehow appearing menacing, "Don't take another step, the girl's the last survivor. Don't you want to save her? Be reasonable, I'm not asking for much. Just a bit of help, you could look the other way."

"Are you a virgin, my dear?" She crooned in the deepest voice she could manage, finding it hard to not laugh and ruin the moment.

"What are you doing?" The red gummi squawked as she scooted them back on the plate, closer to the bowl.

"I'm asking if you're a virgin." She rumbled again, and bared her teeth in a smirk.

"You bastard!" The red bear snarled as the blue one shook from side to side with gentle nudges of Seras' pinky.

"Answer me!" She growled as she picked up a fork menacingly.

"Y-yes! I am!" She cried in a falsetto of her own voice before stabbing the two bears, impaling them on the same tine and letting the red one slide free, slicing it open with the butter knife. Well, those gummibears were dead now. The fork was discarded, the poor blue one still impaled upon it as she swept the dissected red one off to the side.

She scanned the plate for her next victim curiously, her eye catching on the green one as a sadistic smirk all her own curled her lips. Oh this would be _fun_.

"Where is your god now, Andeerson?" She jeered as she slid her gloves off and admired her nails, longer and sharper than human's petty attempts at claws, her blue irises flecked with red. Bringing her index finger down, she began to cut achingly slowly through the jellified sugar until the left arm was severed. The Paladin was annoyingly silent, so she cut off his right leg next and growled, the bastard was tight lipped for once instead of spewing his religious doctrine down her throat. She ripped the other limbs off and threw the pieces carelessly to the side before reaching for a new green bear. After all, Angel Dust was a Regenerator, she could torture him for _hours_.

"What's the matter, Judas Priest, cat got your tongue?" She cooed mockingly as she cut the face off of the next bear and just tore it to itty bitty sugary shreds. Five more bears followed, each in distinct death throes until she grew bored, and with a badly done accent, screeched, "To hell with all you dirty heathens!" Before tossing the relatively still intact bear off the table. She'd have to pick it up later, but that was later, and this was now.

Next she gathered up the light blue bear, took the impaled bear, a new red one, and a purple one, putting the two blues and the purple on one side of the knife, pretending to use it as Sir's desk as she situated the Walter-Bear and the Seras-Bear near what would be the window in Integra's office. "How many times must I reprimand you for your manners, _Servant_?" She asked in a fairly good imitation of Integra's voice as she wiggled the Teggie-Bear with her pinky, and made the red Alucard-Bear laugh before she tossed a chunk of the Anderson-Bear at him as though the woman had shot him as she was want to when the red clad vampire got out of line. She quickly dissolved into a giggle fit at the mental image that ensued.

"What," a flat voice queried and she jumped, nearly falling out of her chair, "are you doing, Police Girl?"

"Master!" She squeaked, looking up at him with wide eyes, "N-nothing…" She mumbled, looking away again just as quickly as she shifted guiltily in her seat.

"I'd accuse you of playing with your food," he rumbled, sounding amused as he loomed over her, "except you know you can't eat them, right Police Girl?"

"Yes sir, of course, sir." Her cheeks heated with a flush as she caught his scrutiny upon the pile of shredded green gummi bodies. How long had he been watching her?

"Long enough." He mocked, answering her thoughts as he picked up the bear that represented himself. He clucked his tongue in disapproval, "Really now, fledgling. Gummibears?"

She had this sudden mental image of him in his room, using little plastic army men instead, and had to bite her lip to smother the thought before he caught it. He shot her a knowing look and she beamed innocently at the male, fluttering her lashes, "So, Master, is there a mission tonight?"


	2. Tea Time

_**Candy Time**_

_**Ketti:**_Look, it's me! XD This is a very silly addition. Not very cannon, though it's loosely tied into two of Jubalii's stories. I dunno how many more of these I'll do, this one just hit me from something I told JuJu in Skype.

_(X_X) (._.) (*_*) (._.) (X_X)_

Seras beamed as she skipped down the sub basement hallways, blue eyes gleaming with eagerness, a giggle escaping her lips to echo around her eerily. For once the Police Girl was not wearing her gold uniform, instead she was dressed up in a frilly blue dress with a headband pushing her bangs back from her face, nothing could be seen of her legs, encased as they were in her white stockings, and her gloves went nearly to her shoulders, topping it all off (or bottoming) with a pair of matching blue dance shoes. To some surprise, she had no neckwear to cover the two punctures from her Master's bite, and the careful observer could see a small silver scar that almost resembled a cross – her 'mark of honor' from Anderson's bayonet their first meeting – that served as its own macabre version of jewelry.

Peering around the corner, her lips spreading in an even wider grin, nearly ear to ear teeth as she observed the opened door and the gentle light flooding the dimly lit corridor from within. Her nose twitched as she inhaled and sighed blissfully at the smells coming from the room, taking note of the sharper tang of copper and mint that signaled her hostess was already there. "Nekette!" She called, traipsing into the tea room with its cheerful pastel coloring and welcoming light centering on the table with its decorative tea pot and cups garnished with a plate of blood-sugar cookies. The silver haired vampires gave her an almost vicious grin, the edges softened by her mirth as the two tone gaze took in her appearance, matching, yet opposite of the elder vampire clad in red and black; atop her head lay a cat ear headband that Seras couldn't help but giggle at. Nekette lifted her own cup – empty – and toasted the Draculina with a chuckle, "Just in time, Seras. Tea time, tea time everyone!" She called to the room, though they were the only occupants of the chamber, before setting out six settings and filling them with imaginary tea, and giving each saucer a cookie. (They'd eat the extras themselves later.)

Seras giggled as she sat down across from Nekette, snatching up a cookie and biting into it with a barely restrained moan. She loved these things, and wished she knew how to make them.

"Sooo…" Nekette drawled after a moment, silver brows arching over her mismatched gaze, "what's new, Ser-Bear?"

Seras made a bit of a face at the newest nickname, but swallowed the delicious cookie and took a sip of her empty cup, trying at nonchalance, "Oh, you know, the usual."

It was only the unspoken rules of the tea party that kept the vampiress from using her powers to loom over the fledgling and force the answers out of her, so instead she made a noncommittal noise and turned to the black kitty plush doll sitting on the table by its own plate. "So, Mr. Whiskers, what's new with you?" She nodded, as if hearing a response, "Really? Eight kittens? That's a lot! Any grandkittens yet? Mhm, mhm. Ah, ooh, how cute!"

Seras, by now accustomed to the questionable sanity of the elder woman just grinned and played along as she adjusted her gloves absently and nibbled more delicately at a second cookie.

"So, this is where you snuck off to?" Her Master's voice oozed from the walls and she jumped, "First I find you playing with your food, now a tea party, I'm beginning to feel like I'm raising a toddler, Police Girl."

Her shoulders hunched as she flushed in embarrassment, taking a bigger bite of the cookie to use the excuse of having her mouth full to delay the inevitable.

The sudden _clang_ of the (salad) cookie tongs hitting the table jerked her attention back to the scowling Nekette as she stood and approached the red clad man, "This is a tea party, not a war room! You're not dressed right. Change at once or get out."

Mouth gaping at the mad woman's gall, Seras watched Nekette turn her nose up in a snit, crossing her arms over her chest while tapping her foot on the carpeted floor. Alucard tipped his head down to stare at the bold little vampiress over the rims of his glasses, and some silent war passed between the two – Seras could feel the tension building in the air – before he burst out laughing and began to shrink. The red bleached from his clothing and his hair grew until it reached his waist – or should she say _her – _and he gave a rather mocking courtesy as Nekette beamed, "Much better! See? Now you can join our tea party!" Grabbing the white clad Girlycard's arm and dragging the diminuitive, but still _plenty_ menacing, ravenette to the table she sat the amused master vampire down in a seat between the other two females, knocking the dog plushie carelessly to the floor.

Seras fought to smother a giggle, and crammed another cookie into her mouth as she watched the red clad Nekette fuss with the place setting and firmly planting a cookie in the white gloved hand of the transformed Alucard before retaking her seat. Red and blue eyes turned expectantly to the girlified Alucard, and Nekette's smile turned vicious once more, "Well? Drink your tea!"

"This bring back memories…" (S)he snorted before picking up the cup and rolling crimson eyes before pretending to take a sip before setting it down with a _clink_ and taking a delicate nibble of the cookie.

Seras giggled, she never would have thought her Master would join in on their tea parties!


End file.
